Our primary identity in life is to be one who is loved by God and a lover of God and others.

We can find our identity in Him, who loved us first and came to the world to die for our sins (John 1:4; Acts 17:28). When we find our identity based on intimacy with God we will see ourselves successful based upon how we grow in this anointing. This is the primary way in which we want to see and measure (evaluate) the success of our lives. When our spiritual identity is first in this we can live with a free and joyful heart in the midst of chaos in our lives (Psalm 61:1-11).

Our identity must be established on being loved by God and in loving Him instead of on our own accomplishments or failures. Meditate upon truths of scripture and declare these back to God and your own heart until your heart, mind and soul come into alignment with truth.  For further reading check out Prov. 18:21; Mt. 4:1-11; Lk. 4:1-12; Jam. 3:3-4; Ps. 16:3; Ps. 18:19; Song 6:5.

By Jennie Estrada, Director of the NightWatch

One thing that I’ve been horrified in realizing lately, is the shallowness of my own ability to love. I feel like God has really been stretching my heart in this area…perhaps in preparation as to where he wants to bring me to next. But omg! why is it so hard to love without expecting anything in return?

Today at work, as I was KINDLY helping a lil’ preschooler get his wet diaper off, however, in resistence of my kindness, he thought it would be cute to scream in my ear, grab my face, and pinch my cheek as hard as he possibly could (he was even shaking because he was pinching me so hard)…I almost lost it. His physical assault just triggered an anger button in me that I didn’t even know I had.

Another incident happened a week or two ago, in which I brought a different lil’ guy to the bathroom to change his dirty diaper (unfortunately, the school’s autism program has a policy of trying to poddy train lil’ guys by making them stay standing while you change their diapers-a lil’ difficult to do to say the least). Well, I’m sure you can about imagine what happened next…as I’m praying that Jesus would give me grace so that my stomach would not over react to the situation, the lil’ boy suddenly decides to start peeing all over me! I couldn’t believe it…I just had to bit my cheeks and finish the job.

As I’ve been working with these wonderful li’ boys (they truly are!), I’ve been realizing how much I thrive on the reactions of others as I love and care for them. I’ve recently been reminded as to how much more difficult it is choosing to be patient and loving with those whom, most of the time, are not visibly cognitively aware of your kindness or patience towards them. As a matter of fact, much of the time, it feels as though truly no one sees your patience or kindness towards them. So much of the time no once sees the moments where it takes every ounce of godliness within me to hold myself back from completely loosing it — Today it hit me though, wow, this is the way it is for our Heavenly Daddy. This it the way He is towards us so very much of the time. Most of the time, we are completely unaware of His kindness, grace, or patience towards us, but yet, in His selflessness, He continues to lavish us with his unconditional, unwavering love. Wow. What an amazing heavenly Daddy we have.

Who could ever love all of us hard-hearted people? Who could possibly continue to lavish so many unaware, ungrateful children with such amazing love, compassion, and grace? We’re continually unaware of the great kindness shown to us. Our Heavenly Daddy is truly “Love”…there is no one that could even begin to compare to Him.

Daddy, please give us grace to Love like you. Forgive us for being so consumed with life that we don’t even take time to say “thank-you” for all that you do for us.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” -excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Today I was so encouraged as I read Psalm 84.

In Psalm 84:5-7, it reads, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca (The Valley of Weeping), they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.”

I was so touched as I read this…I guess it was just a reminder to me that our tears of repentance, requests, sorrow, and intercession, are the very droplets that bring forth EVERLASTING fruit in our lives while we are in the dry, desert-like places (which many of us have felt like we’ve been in for YEARS). However, although we find ourselves in many “desert-like” places this side of eternity, we can always find comfort in knowing that our tears of sorrow do not drop to the ground without watering the desert place in which we are walking through. Our heavenly Daddy holds our tears so preciously in his hands and then gently lets each one drop to the dry soil which we are pilgrimaging through,…our tears never go unnoticed in his eyes, even our tears of remorse, regret, and repentance, he doesn’t say, “I told you so,” but rather, he hold them ever so preciously as he see the sincerity of our hearts.

I think many times we long for our circumstances to change, whether it be finally finding our “soul-mate”, at last seeing our loved ones come to Christ, or finally experiencing freedom from the unforgiveness, bitterness, and/or a habitual sin that has kept us bound for so many years.

Wherever you are in your journey, I believe Jesus wants you to know that the tears that you cry water the desert that you have been treading through. It is in the tears that you shed that you will find the strength and victory that you have been contending for.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good things does he withhold from those whose walk is blamelessl O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.”
Ps. 84:10-12

“The pilgrims to the heavenly city may have to pass through many a valley of weeping, and many a thirsty desert; but wells of salvation shall be opened for them, and consolations sent for their support. Those that press forward in their Christian course, shall find God add grace to their graces. And those who grow in grace, shall be perfect in glory.” Henry commentary on Ps. 84

Luke 6:35
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.
Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful
and wicked.”

Our Father in heaven is so kind to us everyday,
we can`t escape His kindness..

I`ve learned that it is good to pause during the day and think about all the things I am thankful for.

Free air to breathe everyday,
people around me who care,
birds that sing a pretty tune..

All of these were created by our wonderful God.

When someone is kind to me, I’m thankful to that person but I’m also thankful to God..
Why?
Because kindness is an attribute of God, and He put kindness in us.

Thank you Father, for all Your goodness to us..

I usually tend to go to classics for my spiritual readings, but there are also some wonderful
people today with brilliant thoughts.

Richard Foster:
“In our day heaven and earth are on tiptoe waiting for the emerging of a Spirit-led, Spirit-intoxicated,
Spirit-empowered people. All of creation watches expectantly for the springing up of a disciplined,
freely gathered martyr people who know in this life the  life and power of the kingdom of God.
It has happened before. It can happen again.”  (Celebration of Discipline)

Thomas A. Smail:
“The whole experience of these years makes us ask with new urgency, `How are God`s promises fulfilled?`
Is it by working through a catalogue of conditions and performing human works that comply with them,
or is it that God in his grace leads us step by step towards the receiving of his promises at
ways and times of his own choosing, so that there is no question of forcing his hand from our side?
If the latter, our business in ministering to people is not to prescribe a method, but in each case to see
what my Father is doing, as Jesus did, whether it be healing or waiting, bringing about a crisis or continuing
a process, renewing inwardly or healing outwardly-and when we have seen what he is doing to follow him in the
sovereign way he is taking.” (The Forgotten Father)

I love these mystics who combined their great learning with their beautiful sanctity.
For those of you who haven`t read any of the works of the 33 Doctors of the Church, you should check them out
Here’s a sample from some of these mystics..

Teresa of Avila:
“Never pay heed to such matters of popular opinion. This is no time for believing
everyone; believe only those whom you see modeling their lives on the life of Christ.”

Catherine of Siena:
“Why must you have such care for yourselves? Let God`s providence watch over you. His
eyes are on you continually in your fears. Not a moment passes but He is thinking of your welfare.”

Bonaventure:
“A saint`s life must be pure, that is, everything must be done out of love for God.”

I was pondering earlier about a friend who constantly defends himself in front of me.
Sometimes I don’t know why he is defending himself.
But as I thought about it today, I thought “oh.. maybe he thinks I’m judging him.. But I’m not quite sure what he thinks I’m judging him of.”

As humans, we need to be careful of not judging how others judge us.

If he had only asked what I thought of him, I would have poured out affection and love.

I think we judge the Father in a harsh way..
But we need to spend time with Him and ask Him what He thinks of us.

I spend a lot of time with the Father,
and I know He really really likes me.

I love to feast on His “well done.” His praises mean more to me than anything.

And with ministry, I live out that “well-done.”

It`s like the Father reveals to me His wonderful plan,
and I set about and do it.
So I do the ministry after I`ve received His approval.
I do it IN His approval.

It`s a great life .

You are more loved than you realize.

Spend time and ask Him what He thinks of you.